Thirteen to Fifteen Years

Teenagers continue to use the family as a base of support and guidance. Decision-making abilities vary widely among adolescents from one situation to another. Even though they may not show it, teenagers continue to need the nurturing and guidance of their parents. The primary goal for children this age is to increase independence from the family and develop an identity of a separate self.

Girls usually mature earlier than boys. Children at this age should be encouraged to explore activities and form social relationships outside the family. Often these new activities compete with scheduled parenting plans. Teenagers will usually prefer to spend time with peers over their parents and can become resentful and angry if their wishes are not granted. The primary challenge for parents is to support their teens growing independence while maintaining some basic structure and close contact with both parents.

It is appropriate for children of this age to start to negotiate their time directly with each parent. It is very important for parents to talk directly with each other to be certain that the child is safe and accountable. Parents should support the relationship of the child with the other parent.

Sixteen to Eighteen Years

Parents of teenagers in this stage of development should encourage and support their child's:

Gradual and healthy separation from both parents.

Development of an individual identity.

Establishing a sense of self with regard to rules and regulations of society, school, and peer groups.

Understanding of sexual and other feelings in context of relationships.

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