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Developmental Stages

Birth to Nine Months

Infants attach to parents through constant loving responses such as; holding, feeding, playing, soothing, talking gently, and meeting their needs on time. During this stage infants begin to respond to different approaches of parenting.

Children form multiple and concurrent attachments between six and nine months old. In circumstances where both Dad and Mom have been regularly involved with all facets of care giving, and the child has formed an attachment to both parents, restrictions on overnights should be reconsidered. One goal of any parenting plan is to help children create a meaningful relationship with both Dad and Mom.

Infants should have frequent contact with both parents, as well as a concrete schedule and routine. Infants have a very limited ability to remember an absent parent. On the other hand, they may have emotional memories of things that are frightening to them, such as Mom and Dad yelling at each other. Even infants can identify hostile behavior and harsh words.

At about six, infants start to recognize their parents as well as other care givers and within the next few months they may become anxious around strangers. Infants trust regular care givers to identify their signals for food, comfort, and sleep. Some infants may become nervous and may experience eating and sleeping problems when they are in an unfamiliar environment.

It is important to maintain an infant's schedule, especially sleep and feeding cycles. Parents schedules should be accustomed to an infant's schedule in order to prevent disruptions. It is also important to consider the special needs of breastfeeding infants.

Nine to Eighteen Months

During this stage of development the transition from infant to toddler gradually takes place. Skill development is rapid throughout this stage. Including motor accomplishments, such as:

Crawling, Standing & Walking

Communication skills emerge from sounds and smiles to simple words, and beginning expressions of simple emotions, such as; hugs, kisses, anger, fear, and anxiety.

Certainty and stability remain important. Infants can respond to nurturing care givers if there is sensitivity to their signals and needs, as well as regularity in their waking, eating, and sleeping habits. Infants may continue to convey fear and anxiety if a familiar care giver is not there to comfort them.

Eighteen Months to Three Years

This stage is marked with rapid physical, emotional and social change. Toddlers are becoming more alert to the world around them. They may have formed attachments to many caregivers such as, parents, grandparents, family friends, childcare providers, et cetera. Toddlers start to trust that these people will meet their physical and emotional needs. During this period they become more independent and develop the ability to comfort themselves, for example, thumb sucking, or having a favorite toy.

Many toddlers may express their independence by saying "No" to wishes and demands. Some children may become afraid of separations. It may be difficult for them to shift between homes. Resistance to exchanges from one parent to the other is normal for many children at this age. Their reaction does not necessarily mean that the other parent is not a good parent or that the child does not want to be with one parent or the other.

It is sometimes easier for toddlers if the parent they are with drops them off to the other parent. This prevents interrupting ongoing activities that sometimes occur when a parent comes to pick up the child, and it signals parental support for the transition. Predictable schedules and supportive relationships can make exchanges easier. Toddlers are particularly sensitive to tension, anger, and violence among their parents.

Children at this age do not have an adult's concept of time. Frequent contact helps the parent and child establish and maintain a mutually supportive relationship.

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